Mob Mentality
by ladyspock7
Summary: A mob is after Megamind, and it's up to Metro Man to save him.
1. Chapter 1

**This story came about because of December 12 prompt from the tumblr blog, advent-of-evil: Metroman saves Megamind's life when he gets cornered and attacked by an angry mob.**

**I meant to make it a one-shot, but due to time constraints and the busy-ness of Real Life, I couldn't quite get it finished in a satisfactory manner, so it became a two-parter.**

When Megamind crashed, he really crashed. All Metro Man had to do was follow the debris field, which stretched for over a mile across the buildings and streets. He flew steadily on, certain that he'd find the super-villain still trying to crawl out of the wreckage of the blimp.

He didn't start to worry until he began spotting the cubes, and people pouring water on them, freeing the men and women from suspended animation. All of them were quite angry, and as they saw him flying overhead they began running along behind him, shouting.

"Get him, Metro Man!"

"Kick his ass!"

"Take his head off!"

_Wow, that's pretty harsh,_ he thought with a frown.

The reamins of the blimp lay smoking a few blocks away. He quickly ran his x-ray vision over it to see if the super-villain had holed himself up in it somewhere, but there was no sign of him. Dehydrated cubes and disgruntled citizens formed a rough trail, and he followed it.

Soon he came across a group of teenagers playing with the de-gun.

The boy who held it, and he looked about fourteen, zapped a car. He and his friends laughed hysterically as it dehydrated in chunks, the car alarm blaring. First the trunk went, leaving the back seat slumping on the ground, then that got zapped, and then the rest of it went, along with the alarm.

Metro Man landed in front of them, his feet hitting with a thud, and scowled at them. The kids shuffled and the ones in the back began edging away. "You shoot all those people?" he said, waving a hand down the street. There were still some cubes lying around.

The boy shook his head. "I didn't. The freak did. He was shooting everybody," he said indignantly.

Metro Man asked, "How did you get that?"

"I found it," the boy said, holding it in both hands possessively. "Lying on the ground over there." He jerked his chin down the sidewalk. "There's junk all over. They chased him that way."

"Who did?"

"Everybody." The boy shrugged.

Metro Man held out his hand and the boy sighed and gave him the de-gun.

"Go on home," he said sternly. "A battlefield is no place for kids."

As he flew off he heard the boy mutter, "Since when? Everybody watches," but he didn't turn back.

He had no time to lecture kids on staying out of harm's way, and in any case, the boy was right. The citizens of Metro City were used to being spectators at the epic battles between Metro Man and his nemesis. They generally stayed just far enough away so they didn't become collateral damage.

He was glad he got the de-gun before they began messing around with the settings. Metro Man didn't even know what the "de-ath" setting _did._ Was it worse than "de-stroy"?

It wasn't like Megamind to leave his signature weapon behind.

As he zipped between buildings he spotted pieces of black cloth lying in shreds on the ground, and heard voices shouting and cursing. He put on another burst of speed.

Metro Man found the crowd, jammed into an alley. He frowned at the two police officers hovering at the back. He knew he shouldn't judge them too harshly; only two officers couldn't do much against a mob, but he wondered if they'd called for back-up.

By the way they ducked their heads as he flew overhead, he had a feeling they hadn't.

Metro Man flew up high to asses the damage.

Megamind stood cornered against the adjoining walls of a brick building and a chain link fence. Feet planted wide, he gripped a rubber garbage can lid in one hand and a broken length of wood in the other. His cape was gone, the collar shredded so it looked like a mangled bat, and his outfit hung from him in rags, exposing his chest and one shoulder, toga-like.

Metro Man exhaled. _At least he's still upright_.

Megamind's chest heaved as if he'd just run a marathon, but his eyes blazed as they darted around at the people hemming him in. He glanced up as he noticed the hero floating overhead, and Metro Man saw an unfamiliar expression pass over his face. It looked remarkably like relief.

Then the skin tightened around Megamind's eyes and a muscle jumped in his jaw. He shifted his weight and lifted the makeshift club a little higher.

_Does he really think I'd just leave him here?_ Metro Man thought. Wow. That kind of hurt.

Several other people were nursing injuries. Some of them leaned or sat against the brick wall, holding their limbs and heads.

"Look, it's Metro Man!" A cheer went up.

Metro Man landed between Megamind and the mob, simultaneously facing them and shielding Megamind.

Someone yelled "Finish him off, Metro Man!"

"Whoa, whoa!" Metro Man said, raising his arms. "You stopped this criminal from escaping."

There were shouts of agreement.

"Now he will face justice..."

The roar of the crowd frightened birds off the rooftops. Metro Man gave them a firm nod. "Back in jail, where he belongs!" he said.

There was some hesitation and the cheers were a little more uncertain on this point, but Metro Man was in charge now. "Just let me have a few words with him before I bring him in." He turned his back on them and looked down at his nemesis.

Welts and bruises marked his blue head. A gash over one eye produced a curtain of blood over half his face. More blood speckled the other side of his head, but it seemed to have no obvious source. It probably wasn't his. That club looked like it had gotten a workout.

"There a problem here?"

Megamind sneered. "Oh no, no, we're all about to go out for pizza. Took you long enough. You stop to sign autographs on the way over?"

Metro Man chuckled. "I had to make sure Roxanne was safely out of those mechanical claws, you know."

Megamind sighed heavily. "At least you did one thing right." He eyed the de-gun in Metro Man's hand. "Two things right."

"You can put that stuff down now, little buddy."

"I don't think so. These are my new best friends. And I am not your little buddy."

"What is that anyway?" Metro Man pointed at the broken stick.

"Broom handle. A shopkeeper was sweeping the sidewalk."

"Resourceful."

"Gosh, I'm so glad I impressed you. That was my intention."

"Come on, just drop 'em. I'm not going to let them hurt you."

"Have you seen my face? You're a little late."

Metro Man crossed his arms over his chest and looked at him. After a moment's hesitation, Megamind tossed aside the broom handle. "I'm keeping the shield," he said, tapping the lid. There was a huge crack in it. "They keep throwing rocks. These maniacs are completely crazy. I couldn't shoot them fast enough. There were too many."

"At least you didn't kill anyone." Metro Man raised an eyebrow. "Right?"

Megamind peered around the hero's bulk. "That remains to be seen." He pulled back quickly. Several chunks of concrete and bricks hit the chain link fence and bounced off Metro Man's back.

Metro Man spun around, cape swirling.

"Hey!" he shouted. "Who threw that?"

Several people stuck their hands behind their backs.

Metro Man scowled at them, running his gaze over the mob. They all shuffled a bit, even the ones who weren't trying to hide any bits of rock.

He could tell what they were thinking. They were thinking that he was running his X-ray vision over them, and spotting the culprits. He wasn't really, since he wasn't planning on taking anyone else in. He'd be arresting people for the rest of the day.

Metro Man put his hands on his hips. "Is this how the good citizens of Metro City behave? Like lawless vigilantes? We don't let atrocities like this happen. You've acted above and beyond the call of duty, instigating a citizen's arrest."

Megamind snorted. Metro Man shot a warning glare at him over his shoulder. _He needs to shut up, _he thought. There wasn't any reason to antagonize these people any longer.

"You've helped bring this criminal to justice, and that's where I come in. You can rest easy tonight, citizens, knowing you've served the greater good."

The collective hackles of the crowd were slowly going down.

"You oughta break his neck, Metro Man!" Someone in the back shouted, which set off another rumble of anger.

"Send him back where he came from!"

"Squish his head!"

_Why is it always the ones shouting from the back?_ Metro Man wondered. There was no shortage of bravery at the back of a crowd. He could see and hear exactly who the troublemakers were, and they looked the part, mean and self-righteous. Then again, everyone in a mob looked ugly.

He raised his hands again to quiet them down. "He's in custody now, good people. Upstanding, worthy citizens like yourselves would never stoop so low as to deliver mob justice. Megamind's on American soil, and he will receive American justice, to the fullest extent of the law!"

Megamind muttered through gritted teeth, "That has got to be the biggest load of-"

"Good work, citizens!" Metro Man said loudly, giving the crowd a big, bright smile. With that, he turned, grabbed Megamind under his arms and shot into the air. The mob cheered.

Megamind held the garbage can lid at the ready, but no one threw any more rocks.


	2. Chapter 2

_**It's been a while since I stuck a quote at the beginning of a story. Here, have this one...**_

_**"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." -Oscar Wilde**_

* * *

As Metro Man flew him away, Megamind spotted the cops lurking at the back of the mob. As a parting shot, he flung the garbage can lid at them.

Metro Man dove for it and caught it. His arms were full of super-villain, the de-gun, and the plastic lid, holding Megamind around the chest instead of by the collar like he usually did because it was so ripped up. He scowled at Megamind. "What did you do that for?"

Megamind had to wait for his stomach to stop trying to come out of his mouth before replying. "Rev-ahnge," he croaked. "Those cops didn't do a single thing to stop that mob."

"You gotta be fair, little buddy, they were outnumbered."

Megamind sneered. "Oh, sure, take their side. I don't have to be fair, I'm the bad guy."

It was the Fourth of July and a balmy 82 degrees Fahrenheit, but Metro Man was flying fast and the wind chilled Megamind. He had to press his lips together to keep his teeth from rattling. He tried to stop shivering.

Metro Man touched down in the shade between some buildings and let go of him.

_Why had Super Bozo come here, into the damn shade?_ Megamind thought. He looked around in confusion at the dank alley, wondering what the game was now.

He wrapped his arms around his chest. "So w-w-what are we doing back here?" he said through chattering teeth. "Are you lost? Cons-s-s-spicuous lack of reporters."

Metro Man shrugged. "Eh, I'm gonna skip the press conference. Who needs it?" He gave Megamind a critical look, then he swept off his white cape. "Here. Put this on."

Megamind stepped back. "Why? What for?"

"Well, what do you think? I could feel you shaking. I can practically feel you shaking from way over here."

"S-s-so what? A mere...psychoso-mah-tic reaction."

"I don't think that's what psychosomatic means."

"How would you know?"

"Just put it on."

Megamind glared at the white furry collar and golden stars lining the edges. "I am not touching that thing."

To be seen in the hero's cape! He'd be the laughingstock of every criminal in town. If he saw one of his rivals in such a ridiculous get-up he sure knew what _he'd_ say. He could think of half a dozen cutting remarks about sexual orientation without even trying.

Metro Man scowled in exasperation, then he narrowed his eyes. "Actually, body heat is probably just as good. Come here, let me give you a hug."

Megamind took another step back. "You're crazy!"

"Little buddy, you're on the verge of going into shock," Metro Man said, walking toward him. "You're shaking, your pupils are dilated..."

"It's a f-f-fricking alley. It's dark," Megamind snapped.

"...you almost upchucked when I dove for that garbage can lid and you usually have an iron-clad stomach. And under all that blood your face looks kind of grayish."

"My face is n-n-no concern of yours."

Metro Man advanced. "You got two options," he said cheerfully. "I can I give ya a great big hug 'til you feel better..."

Megamind collided with a metal garbage can as he backpedaled. He grabbed the lid and held it in front of him. "Keep away from me!"

Metro Man waved the cape at him. "...or you can put this on. Oh, come on," he said, as Megamind hesitated. "What are you scared of, cooties?"

Teeth bared in a snarl, Megamind yanked the cape out of his hand. "Lunatic. Pushy, overbearing..." he muttered, swinging it over his shoulders. He snapped the hook closed at the neck with shaking fingers. The heavy collar settled onto his shoulders and the cape pooled around his feet. "I f-f-fully plan on bleeding all over it."

"Lots of worse things get on it," Metro Man said, waving a hand dismissively. "If you puked, it wouldn't have been the first time. All the folks I rescue, people are always getting airsick."

Megamind looked down at the cape suspiciously. At least it smelled okay. Multimillionaires had the best cleaners, he supposed. Or perhaps Mister Goody Two-shoes just acquired new capes every time one got dirty. His shivering was slowing down. "Making everyone sick? I am not surprised," he said.

Metro Man chuckled. "Good one, little buddy. Hey, how 'bout we stop in here for a minute. Just so you can get yourself together. How's that sound?"

He gestured at a gray door with the words 'Silk Road Cafe, Service Entrance' stenciled on it in red paint. "I know the owner. He'll close up if I ask. Let me buy you a coffee."

"Is that a joke? The last thing I need is a caffeine spike," Megamind said.

Metro Man said, "Oh, right. The caffeine thing. Well, how about a hot chocolate?"

Megamind glared at Metro Man's open, guileless face. Niceness made him uneasy. Nobody did favors for him unless they wanted something. Only Minion could be trusted.

But the aftereffects of nearly getting pummeled to death by a howling mob was catching up fast, and he was unable to come up with a suitable retort. The gash above his eyebrow stung, and he ached from dozens of contusions on his head, face, and torso. His arms hurt from fatigue and more bruises.

At the end of the alley, cars traveled down the street and life went on as usual under the sun. No doubt the cops and the media were swarming over the crash sight by now.

He glanced at Metro Man. _Maybe I am going into shock,_ he thought, _because that actually sounds like a good idea._ At the very least, it would mean a few more minutes of freedom. He nodded. "Very well. Hot chocolate. And I expect marshmallows."


	3. Chapter 3

**It's not often that I'm inspired by artwork, but while I was working on the guys' conversation I couldn't help but think of this comic page written and illustrated by KBJones, found on her deviantart account: art/Megamind-Fights-Back-264271036. With her kind permission, I've used her version of the keep-away game, remembered so nostalgically by Metro Man, and rather less fondly by Megamind.**

* * *

Amahl and Tyra, the Pakistani couple who owned the cafe, brightened when they saw Metro Man, but their faces sobered at the sight of Megamind, standing there with pained dignity, covered in blood and the hero's cape. For the Defender of the city, they were willing to close the cafe and let Megamind clean up in the restroom.

It took two dozen paper towels for Megamind to get the blood sponged off. One forearm was swollen to almost twice its size, compliments of a well-thrown half brick that had sent the de-gun spinning out of his grip.

That was when they'd nearly overwhelmed him. Somehow, by vicious use of elbow and fist (the one arm being temporarily numb and useless), knees, feet, and, he was fairly certain, his teeth at one point, he'd managed to break free, dash over to a startled shopkeeper, and tear the broom from his hands.

Then had come the running portion of the program. He jinked and dodged through the alleys, but when he realized he was about to be trapped in a dead end, he'd paused long enough to brace the broom against a wall and break it in half with his heel. Shoving the now-tingling arm through the handle of a garbage can lid, he was ready for the onslaught. It didn't take long before he was forced to start clubbing...

Bile rose in the back of his throat and he held onto the sink until the wave of dizziness and the horror of the memory passed.

The phrase 'Beating them off with a stick' would never have innocent connotations again.

Metro Man's voice sounded very far away. "You all right?"

"Mind your own business," Megamind muttered, but without heat. Taking a semi-deep breath, he examined the swollen arm, carefully opening and closing his fingers. The hand was functional, so the bones weren't broken, but it hurt like hell.

Watering down another paper towel he dabbed gingerly at the gash above his eyebrow. He cast an irritated glance at the hero leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed.

"Do you have to watch me every second?" Megamind said. The gash stung and he winced. "How about a little privacy?"

"I'm not leaving you alone in here. You probably thought of ten different ways to escape."

Megamind tossed the bloodied towels into the trash can. "Only three. Feeling rather poorly at the moment."

He studied his reflection. The swellings and lumps and bruises made a mess of his astonishing good looks. The eyebrow gash was already beginning to close, thanks to his advanced healing abilities. It was a good thing he didn't scar easily.

There wasn't so much blood on his torso, mainly bruising. He straightened his shoulders and groaned at the sharp twinges that ran through his abdomen. At least his uncontrollable shaking had stopped, but he put the stupid white cape on again anyway because most of his shirt had been ripped off.

Amahl pushed a broom across the floor while Tyra wiped off the counter. They eyed him warily. The 'Closed' sign hung in the window.

By mutual silent agreement, Megamind and Metro Man sat in the back, well away from the windows. Tyra put a tray with two cups down and retreated. Megamind hunched over the table and listlessly stirred a spoon into the marshmallows on the hot chocolate.

Metro Man took a sip of coffee. "So what happened to Minion? I'm kinda surprised he wasn't there to help you out."

Megamind straightened his arms and pushed back from the table. "I knew it," he growled. So this was the reason Metro Mahn was being so friendly. "Is this your 'good cop' routine? You think I'm in a vulnerable state of mind, is that it? Prying into my secrets, buddying up to me, and I'll be oh-so-grateful that I'll..."

Metro Man held up his hand. "Whoa, whoa! I didn't ask where he was hiding. I just wondered. You usually got about fifty brainbots hovering around, too. I didn't see any of them either."

Megamind's lip curled. "Trying to find out the patrol schedules of my brainbots? Nice try, hero, I'm on to your little game." He pointed an accusing finger. "You'll have to do better than that to get me to spill the beans."

Metro Man shrugged. "Okay, Mr. Paranoid."

"Better leave the name-calling to the experts."

For a time there was only the sound of drinks being sipped and the clink of silverware getting shelved in the kitchen.

Megamind tapped a boot against the floor, and lifted and lowered the spoon into the melting marshmallow sludge. "Minion was most likely unaware of my predicament," he finally said. "No cameras nearby, no brainbots to inform him of trouble. And clearly no report of it over the police radio," he added with a growl, thinking of those two cops who'd seen what was happening but done nothing.

It was no secret that he and Minion tapped into the police broadband regularly, so he had no qualms about mentioning it to Metro Jerk. "Minion had orders...well, it's none of your business what orders."

With capture inevitable, he'd ordered Minion to flee the area. It was so much easier busting out of prison with Minion on the outside.

Besides that, he worried excessively whenever Minion was captured, for fear that some bonehead official would order his loyal henchfish to be put to sleep. Many people still did not accept him as a sentient being, or at least were willing to ignore the fact long enough to put him down.

All of the brainbots on the zeppelin had been either damaged or destroyed, and there simply hadn't been any others within audial range. He knew the patrols of all of his brainbots throughout the city and had known that there weren't any in his immediate area, but he shouted for them anyway as the mob closed in, on the off-chance that a lone brainbot or two might have been around. Sometimes a few brainbots would wander away from their squads, if they spotted something that he'd specifically ordered them to look out for. And they had healthy levels of curiosity, so they even sometimes wandered off on their own.

Even one brainbot could have made all the difference back there. He could have flown away with it, or it could have covered his retreat.

"Aren't you going to finish that?" Metro Man asked, watching Megamind poking at his cup.

"Don't feel like it," he grumbled.

"Aw, it's over now. Cheer up."

"Easy for you to say. The most that you ever have to worry about from a crazed mob is getting your perfect hair messed up."

"Hey, I can't help it if I'm invulnerable. Maybe you shouldn't have set that flag on fire."

"I'm within my rights to protest in any way I wish," Megamind said indignantly.

"Setting a giant flag on fire by shooting rockets at it? Yelling, 'How's this for rockets' red glare!'? What kind of political statement is that? You defending your right to be obnoxious?"

"It's not like there's anything illegal about it," he said with a sniff. "No law against it."

"It's the Fourth of July, Megamind. Didn't you think that maybe people might get a little extra worked up?"

Megamind picked up the cup and blew on it before taking a sip. "It's not my flag. I'm probably not even a citizen."

"Don't you even know?" Metro Man said incredulously.

Megamind pressed his lips together. That had slipped out. "Oh, I suppose the warden has some sort of paper which clarifies my exact status in this great nation of ours," he said carelessly. "But I'm fairly sure that I'm not, technically, an American citizen."

"But you have to be at least aware that a lot of people put a lot of store in the flag as a symbol. They respect it, and they want everyone to respect it."

Metro Man slurped noisily. "You know why I was so late coming to get you?"

"Distracted by a row of mirrors?"

"Because I was untangling Roxanne from that sticky net. You know. The net that kept her from falling into your death trap."

Megamind crushed the remaining marshmallow sludge with the spoon, studiously avoiding Metro Man's gaze. "Oh, so that's what saved her. That net," he said, thinking fast, "that net is vital to the operation of the Claws of Death. To prevent her from getting away. Though I'm sure the construction of my brilliant device is beyond your understanding," he added.

"What's really weird," the hero continued, as if he hadn't heard a word Megamind said, "is that the net's invisible. That must be pretty important too, huh? So the machine would work? Kinda hard to see how, though. But it sure made those mechanical claws look a lot more dangerous than they really were. Made me think."

"So it's a first for you, then," Megamind muttered. He took another careful sip of the hot chocolate, though it made his mouth sting. The inside of one cheek was raw from where he'd bitten himself.

"Thinking about those other death traps."

"Careful, you'll hurt yourself with all that thinking."

"The scythes," Metro Man said, so loudly the table shook. "The pits with the spikes, the lasers. That giant hammer." Megamind winced as Metro Man's booming voice made the bones in his skull grate together.

"Ah, yes, my Ham-her," Megamind said with an ee-vil smile. His head throbbed. Hopefully he managed to turn the grimace of pain into a smile of ee-vil.

"Yeah, that was nasty, what if she got crushed? But I remember looking at it after, and there was this big titanium rod, right in the middle of the thing that... you know, in the tower thingy." He moved his hands up and down.

"The scaffolding."

"Yeah, that, anyway, that rod would have kept the hammer from falling all the way down. I think Roxanne might've bumped her head if she stood up too quick, but other than that, well..." He shrugged his shoulders. "It seemed kinda funny at the time, but I didn't remember it until today, when I saw Roxanne in that safety net."

"Clearly part of the structure collapsed when you attacked, causing one of the connective rods to fall in the Ham-her's path."

Metro Man gave him a shrewd look, the corner of his mouth turning up into a faint smirk. Megamind glared back.

What the hell was Captain Wonderpants looking at him like that for? With that stupid smug all-knowing smile. So he finally noticed the failsafes that Megamind installed to protect Roxanne from injury, big deal.

Imbecile. It was painful watching the muscle-bound hero try to be clever. _ He thinks he's figured something out. Well, he hasn't._

It was so easy to be some ham-fisted run-of-the-mill mass murderer. There was no style to it. Certainly not Megamind's style. No one ever thought about how hard it was _not_ to kill. Metro Man had no idea how difficult it was to coordinate a really good bombing incident so that the immediate populace would have time to vacate the area. Sometimes Megamind practically had to put up blinking neon signs saying "Run This Way."

Of _course_ he put failsafes in all his death traps. He had no quarrel with Roxanne. Indeed, he quite enjoyed quarreling with her.

_I've got news for you, my super-powered compadre. My only target is you, and you alone. And once you are dead, nothing will stop me from everything I desire. Roxanne's not the target. I wouldn't harm a hair on her head._

Metro Man was the first to break eye contact, but Megamind's sense of victory was short-lived. "You know the great thing about Roxanne?"

Alarm jolted briefly through Megamind's veins. Okay, now, he knew for a fact that Metro Mahn wasn't psychic. He scolded himself for jumping, leaning back in the chair again to cover the movement. "Oh just kill me now," he muttered, putting a hand over his eyes. _Now he'll start telling me about how she's the best thing that ever happened to him, or she gives meaning to his life, or his heart skips a beat at the sight of her, or how he longs to be in her presence even if she spits in his face...oh wait..._

"It's that she really cares. And she stands up against injustice. A lot of people don't really do that, you know. Even me. There've been times when I've been kinda lazy, and didn't do something she thought I should have, and she really let me have it! She's told me, 'Wayne, what's the point of having these powers if you don't use them to help others?' She's got this knack for seeing through baloney, and in spite of everything, she sees the good in everybody. She understands people, but it irritates her when they take the easy way out. Especially powerful people. She's made me a better man. I sometimes think I can see the good in others, too."

"That is so heart-warming, I may throw up." Megamind scowled. The smug, knowing smile on Metro Man's face didn't waver. "What?" he snapped.

"Eh, it's nothing," Metro Man said with a shrug. He waved at Amahl. "Say, could I get a refill? Thanks."

As Amahl refilled Metro Man's cup he gave Megamind the wary, nervous smile of a man who has remembered that a certain super-villain always escapes and might find time to return to a cafe to have words with a rude owner. "Would you like another?" he asked, nodding at Megamind's cooling drink.

Megamind flicked a hand, dismissing him. Amahl bustled back to the kitchen.

"Wouldn't have killed you to be polite, you know," said Metro Man, adding creamer to the cup. "How about, no thanks, I'm good."

Megamind snorted. "I am never 'good.' The citizenry knows how the boot fits," he said, nodding towards the kitchen where the owners pretended to be busy. "They know upon which side their bread is buttered. You may think you protect the city, but night always falls, hero, and then I rule."

"Why do you always have to put on this evil act? Why can't you be nice to folks for a change?"

"I resent the fact that you describe it as an act," Megamind snapped. "I have a reputation to maintain. I can't go around being nice to people."

"I never thought it would come to this."

"Come to what?"

"This! All of this." Metro Man waved his white-gloved hands out. "This feud. The battle robots, the mechanical sharks, the laser-guided homing pigeons, magnetized boulders... I mean, sure, you were kind of hyper in school, but sheesh. I never guessed one of my old playmates would grow up to be Metro City's biggest threat. We had some fun times, didn't we?"

Megamind cocked his head. "Playmates. Fun times. Are we talking about the same shool, here? The Lil' Red Shoolhouse, hotbed of torment and affliction?"

Metro Man chuckled. "What are you talkin' about? Don't you remember dodge ball?"

Megamind felt his lip twitch. "Vividly."

A nostalgic look passed over Metro Man's face. "And that time we played keep-away?"

Megamind's brows slowly knotted together. He searched the hero's face for signs of malice or mockery, or possibly even regret, but found only a sort of friendly indignation. "Are you...talking about the time you stole Minion from me and threw him around like a hacky-sack?"

"I only borrowed him a minute. It was just a game." Metro Man looked surprised at the accusation. "You remember."

A slow burn of anger started somewhere in his midsection. Blood pounded in his ears. "I'm fairly certain that Minion remembers that one even better than I do."

"Well, I sure remember how it ended," Metro Man said, giving him a scolding grin. He shook his finger. "You threw mud on me, and I ended up having to go home early to wash up."

"Yes. And Minion and I ended up in the corner. Again."

Metro Man chuckled and lifted his coffee cup. "Man, you were a rascal."

"A rascal. A _rascal?"_ Megamind's voice echoed off the ceiling as he stood up. The chair scraped against the floor as he got to his feet.

Or started to. A sharp stab of pain in his lower ribs doubled him over and he fell back into the chair with a grunt.

Metro Man stared at him intently for a moment. "Got some bad bruises there. I don't think anything's broken, though. 'Course, you'll probably want to get a real x-ray."

"Stop...doing that," Megamind wheezed. When he raised his head again Metro Man was still looking at him with concern.

"Believe it or not, Wayne, you never cease to amaze me," he said hoarsely.

"Well, thanks, little buddy, I guess there's hope for..."

"That wasn't a compliment. Has any impromptu bout of 'keep-away' _ever_ been just a friendly game? Or merely a cruel exercise instigated for the sole purpose of creating frustration and an insurmountable feeling of helplessness? As in, making the other person feel lower than dirt?"

"Hey, I think you're getting a little too upset there," Metro Man said, glancing toward the kitchen where the cafe owners were looking out. He raised his hands in a calming gesture. "Why don't you take a minute to..."

"Don't you know you could have hurt him? Even killed him? Flinging him around like that! You're not supposed to shake fish. Throwing mud at your fat head was the only way to get you to stop. Because even then it was obvious your hair was precious to you beyond measure. I think we've uncovered a new super-power here, Metro Mahn. Self-hypnosis! The ability to overlay your own reality over the past so thoroughly that you actually believe it. You go ahead and remember the good old days on your own, Metro Mahn. I'd rather face that mob again rather than relive even one minute of it."

Which was not _entirely_ true, as he fervently hoped to never wind up on the wrong end of a mob again, but it sounded good. In any case he was done listening to Metro Mahn's drivel. Lurching to his feet again, but more carefully, he pulled the heavy cape off his shoulders and flung it into another chair. "I'm done. Take me to jail."

"Calm down, little buddy." Wayne held up his hands, palm out. "I'm not sure you're remembering things right. You got it all wrong."

Even seated Wayne was almost eye to eye, but Megamind was still able to look down his nose at him. "I said I'm finished."

Metro Man half rose to his feet. "I think if we sit down we can talk about..."

Megamind knocked over his cup. Hot chocolate spattered onto the cape. "Oh no. Look at that. Ruined. Tsk, tsk. Don't billionaires know about stain-guard?"

Metro Man's heroic brows furrowed and his massive hands clenched into fists. "That was pathetic. You know I'm just going to get another one."

Megamind gave him a cold look. "No act of ee-vil is too petty. Well, if you're not going to do your duty, I guess I can take my leave." With that he strode toward the back door.

A heavy hand fell on his shoulder. "Hold it right there, villain."

"Finally, he remembers his line," Megamind said, sneering. "And that's super-villain to you, fool."

He refused to say another word on the way back to the prison.

* * *

Seething, Metro Man flew back to his hideout.

Boy, you try to be nice to Megamind, all you get is craziness. There was just no reasoning with a guy like that.

Metro Man shook his head. He thought that if he reminded Megamind of happier times, back when they were kids, that would help him, somehow. Help him turn over a new leaf, or at least sort of prod him in that direction. Get him thinking that he didn't have to be evil.

Flying into the Lil' Red Schoolhouse, he paused, gazing fondly around the little desks, chairs, and the old artwork tacked to the walls. He breathed in the scent of ancient crayons. This school held some of his happiest memories, back before he understood what it meant to be a hero with all the responsibilities that went with the job, which is why he'd chosen it to hide his fortress. Megamind wasn't the only one who needed a lair.

He flew down the tunnel. After he'd shut the door to his home, he flicked on the lights. White and gold gleamed from every corner, from the paintings and display cases. Getting out one of his acoustic guitars he floated onto the sofa and strummed for a while, running through the familiar chords of Elvis's "You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog" to warm up.

Megamind had it all wrong. He obviously had some kind of mental issue, if that's how he remembered what happened at school. Probably twisted things up in his head until they fit his preconceived reality, that was it. _Which is exactly what he accused me of doing!_

Guess it was hopeless, trying to get through to Megamind. If he'd rather believe he was misunderstood and picked on as a kid, well, there was nothing Wayne could do about it.

He'd seen Minion get into all kinds of scrapes and fights over the years! Minion couldn't have gotten hurt getting tossed around a little.

_You're not supposed to shake fish._

Of course...there was a difference between doing something yourself, like, say, jumping out of a fishbowl, and getting grabbed and shaken around uncontrollably...

Another memory surfaced, as unwelcome as a bubble of swamp gas. _Teacher, the freak threw mud at me!_

Metro Man winced. _Did I really say that?_

Feeling restless, he put the guitar aside and went over to one of spacious closets, and dug through a few layers of awards, trophies, and diplomas (he had several honorary diplomas from various colleges) until he found the scrapbooks his mom had lovingly pieced together over the years.

Full of magazine articles and newspaper clippings, he dug deeper until he found one with scuffed edges and crackling pages.

It was here somewhere, in the old photos. He flipped through it until he found the class photo from first grade.

There he was, surrounded by a pack of classmates, his arms around a couple of his best friends. Funny, he didn't remember their names anymore. One of them was...Greg or something. He glanced at the back but only the year was written there.

Off to the side was Blue. So far off to the side he was almost out of the picture, a faint worried smile on his face. And his eyes wide, his forehead slightly wrinkled, as if he wasn't sure he was even supposed to be there.

"Crab nuggets," he muttered. "I _was_ a jerk."

* * *

**Wayne's got some pretty big blinders. And yet...for all his obtuseness, here's something that a few other fans have pointed out: Metro Man was the first to recognize Megamind's potential as a hero, even before Roxanne does. How did that happen? I suspect that Roxanne had an influence on him, and Metro Man began to have his doubts about the whole hero/villain business even before the Death Ray encounter (though he did have some time to really think about his own place in the world while he was in his superspeed state during aforesaid Death Ray encounter). I imagine it was several episodes of introspection that led to his conclusion, and this was one of them.**

**This might be the end of this story...unless I think of a decent epilogue.**


End file.
